Don’t put the “sick” in lovesick

Slade Lane

School’s been in session for more than a month now. You’ve had a million chances to approach that cute girl in your connections class or to giggle at that guy in physics. Dates, dinners and too many movies you lied to each other about loving (but you didn’t). Either way, the planets have aligned and you are each other’s everything. For the couples who can’t get enough of each other, this public service announcement is for you.

Doubtless, you are aware of PDA. I do not wish to tell you when or where hugging, kissing and hand-holding are appropriate, and I do not intend to douse the sparks of newfound love. But I do want to give you guidance before you spend an evening making everyone uncomfortable in front of Rees Hall.

It’s not that your love disgusts us. We’re not trying to be jerks. It’s just that entering the dorm lobby is like coming home from a long day. We don’t want to see you hogging the couches and cuddling at a distance that can only be described as looking like those two grasshoppers you observed in high school biology and couldn’t stop giggling over.

Rachel Jorgensen, junior nursing major, provided a good rule if you and your boo can’t find a private place to watch a movie. “I should be able to identify two distinct persons. You shouldn’t melt together into a blob.”

Now you might be saying, “The people who have these problems are just bitter and probably single.” Some? Maybe. All? Not by a long shot. Some couples have become uncomfortable with other couples loitering in their dorms. A few have even stopped dropping their dates off at the door so they aren’t confused with the huggers and clingers.

“But we don’t have cars to go off campus,” you argue. It’s true. We don’t all have cars. Yet many couples on campus have found ways not to frequent high traffic areas, keeping their PDA to a minimum. It’s possible. Take a walk to Holmes Lake, or maybe you could borrow a friend’s car or hitch a ride and pay for gas.

We’re happy that the planets aligned. We’re glad you enjoy dinners, dates and all those movies. We really hope there will be many, many more. But before you decide to grab a blanket and snuggle too close for any real comfort in a dorm lobby, or to hold each other and whisper sweet nothings within earshot of Alaska, remember: be thoughtful of others. Spread the love by toning it down.

Slade is a senior studying language arts education.