Lieutenant Dan: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.
Many students are scratching their heads as they try to think of where they last spotted the large, metal statue of Jesus. A gift from the senior class of 2014, the statue took up a short residence in the atrium at the end of last school year but has since moved on. Most students don’t know where.
“Where is Jesus? I don’t know where he is,” despaired junior elementary education major Kendra Minty.
Put your fears to rest. The bronzed reincarnation is safe—in the back stairwell behind Cooper’s Corner. Some students are upset about this, but not for the reasons you might think.
“When you walk down the back stairwell, what are actually supposed to be Jesus’ open arms look like a threatening gesture to your peripherals. But that’s just my opinion,” one student confesses.
In fact, many students haven’t been overwhelmed by a feeling of salvation, much less safety, when they’ve gazed into the figure’s hollow eyes. The words “creepy,” “uneasy,” “freaked out” and “I’m going to avoid that back stairwell like a strip of bacon” have been commonplace reactions to the visceral responses and screams upon finding Jesus in a stuffy back stairwell.
With the Jesus statue garnering this kind of feedback, the question is: where should we put him? If we can find the proper place, maybe Jesus wouldn’t seem so sinister.
Possible places like center campus, the Dick Building or back in the Atrium have all been thrown around. Each of these locations comes with different implications.
Moving Jesus outside reveals him to the community, marking our school as an obvious center for Christ. And his bronzed figure will mesh well with the fall colors.
However, if Jesus were put outside he might be vandalized. Winter is coming, and the night is dark and full of terrors. The idea of having a Jesus statue on our front lawn also doesn’t sit well with some students. One such student, who wished to remain anonymous, remarked, “It’s almost like an idol.”
In the Dick Building Jesus would be safe from the elements. Senior theology major Mikey Archibeque explained, “We could keep him in there [in the Dick Building] in a glass case, maybe in the corner of the entrance.” This seems like a more tasteful option than throwing Jesus in the wilderness.
Perhaps it is better for Jesus to reappear in the atrium. At least there he would be in good company with the old clock tower bell, which is also made of metal. On the other hand, he would would raise some hairs at night and make a midnight stroll all too eerie.
Where did Jesus go? The stairwell. Where should Jesus go? That is up to the administration. If you have thoughts on where Jesus should set up his residence, stop by President Sauder’s office or leave a comment on our Facebook page.
Slade is a senior studying language arts education.