Adventist Slang: The Great Controversy Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come for another explanation of Adventist terms that were never explained to you. This week, we dive into the largest debates facing the Adventist church. Today I give you the definition(s) of The Great Controversy.

1. The Great Controversy: Ties 

Are they man jewelry? According to every church within a 200-mile radius of Berrien Springs (the Adventist Church Headquarters), women are not allowed to wear jewelry unless it’s “functional” (functional, in this case, meaning watches). This rule, however, tends to anger many women, as men still get to wear ties, a nonfunctional accessory. The most logical argument is that, if men misbehave in a church setting, it’s easier for their wives to quietly tug them down and remind them of appropriate behavior. But is this enough to justify ties when women can’t wear necklaces?

2. The Great Controversy: Drums

Can they be played in a church setting? This controversy is strongest between the 200- and 500-mile radius of Berrien Springs. If you live within 200 miles, the answer is a hard no. If you live more than 500 miles away, the answer is a confident yes. If you live between 200 and 500 miles, it’s cause for drama. The older members of the church strongly believe that drums have no place in church. Allegedly, the beat of the drums takes away from the meaning of the words. On the other hand, the younger audience believes having upbeat and fun music attracts more people to the church, therefore converting more members. With two strong and opposite opinions, this controversy will never end.

3. The Great Controversy: Big Franks versus Super Links 

Which is the superior veggie hot dog? With a similar flavor and identical purpose, can a decision be made? This debate has been known to end friendships and split families. A disagreement on such a fundamental Adventist stance could destroy you and everything you love. But let’s be real, the correct answer is Big Franks (and I will fight you)!

4. The Great Controversy: Dancing

Where is the line between praising the Lord and blatantly worshiping the devil through dancing? Some would say you can only raise your hand in praise, anything more would be inappropriate. Some believe you may dance as hard as you’d like when the time is appropriate. However, the overarching idea is that we may sway gently like trees in the wind, as long as you don’t get “blown away.” Just remember, this debate is regional, just like drums.

Through this list, I hope you’ve begun to understand just how controversial the church truly is. Afterall, we did start as a rebel organization.

Lacey Stecker is a sophomore

communication major from

Noblesville, Ind.