Union launches squirrel weight loss program: April’s new health and wellness challenge
As we all know, Union’s squirrels are somewhat of an unofficial mascot for our campus. This is why Union is beginning to take steps toward bettering the health of our furry little friends. As many of you may have noticed, there is an abundance of obese squirrels scampering around the quad and clocktower areas. While these pudgy little fellas are cute to look at, it is glaringly obvious that their overly rotund bellies are not healthy for their tiny bodies. This is why Union College is proud to announce its April Health and Wellness challenge: uSquirrel!
For this exciting month-long event, students will be assigned a personal squirrel on campus that they are in charge of taking care of and helping to lose weight. Squirrel weigh-ins will take place every Wednesday in the atrium to see how much progress each student has made with his or her squirrel. By the end of the month, the student who has made their squirrel lose the most weight will be awarded with a $100 gift card to a restaurant of their choice.
We had the pleasure of interviewing some faculty members about their thoughts on this new campus-wide event. Most seemed very onboard with the idea, but not all were sure about the logistics of such an undertaking. Namely, the plant services team who was assigned with weighing and tagging all the squirrels prior to April.
“It's just not practical,” said Plant Services Director Paul Jenks. “The squirrels are just too darn fast to catch, and when we do, they don’t hold still long enough to put them on the scales for weighing. I have no idea how the students are going to be able to get close to them, let alone stick them on the tiny treadmills they’re having us build for the challenge.”
Undeterred by this minor hiccup, President Vinita Sauder has given the green light for the project, stating, “It will be good for both our students and our squirrels. I can’t wait to see smiling students and skinny squirrels running around our campus.”
The challenge officially begins the first week of April and will last for the whole month. Students are encouraged to keep their assigned squirrels in tiptop shape, even on the weekends. I, for one, am excited to see our furry friends getting back in shape again. So, get on out there. Get your pint-sized sweat bands, and get those rodents to burn some calories!
By Caleb Schaber