A date by any other name?

An attempt to uncover the difference between a date and just being kind

Have you ever gone out with someone and halfway through thought, Wait, is this a date? The instant panic of trying to figure out if someone is into you or not is crippling. The older we get, the more confusing relationships are. With all the nuance between just talking, hanging out, a situationship, and then hopefully a date, it can be almost impossible to tell if there's a deeper connection. I wish I had the answers, but alas, I have none. Instead, I have some real-world situations for you to decide for yourself if the situation qualifies as a date.

Situation 1: It’s midnight, and you’re starving. Being the good citizen you are, you ask your friend to go with you. They, also being a good citizen, offer to drive. Because it’s late, you go through the drive-thru at D’Leon’s. They pay for both meals, and you sit and chat while you eat. Does their paying for the meal, no matter how low the cost, signal a date? It’s not like a $7 burrito will put you in more debt than student loans already did. Does the cost matter?

Situation 2: Say you are invited very nonchalantly to go on an activity with someone. Perhaps you and that person had talked about wanting to go to the same place, though never specifically said you wanted to go together. Maybe it even sounds as if they would go to the activity even if you say no. At no point is it called a date while you are planning or out, but they pay any entrance fees. Does the payment of any entrance fee signal a date, or are they just being kind and paying because they invited you?

Situation 3: They invite you to go for a walk. Unlike now, the weather is lovely, and you think the sun will do you some good. Because you are both humans, you talk while you walk. Suddenly, you realize you’ve been out for nearly three hours. Were you on a date?

Forget wondering if you were on a break. Were you even on a date in the first place? Does the proximity to Valentine’s Day make a difference? Relationships are weird and confusing, especially when the other person never directly tells you if they’ve asked you out or not. I’m curious to know what elements in particular make a date.

By: Lacey Stecker