Gentleman’s Guide 2
Good morning U-Family, your dearest Mason here again to help you navigate the ins and outs of college life. When last we met, I guided you through the complex process of creating an apology for your inevitable YouTube mistakes. Today I will be providing a guide for all those indulging in fall pastimes so please do listen up!
It’s once again Autumn and you know what that means! The weather gets colder and we inevitably spend more time inside away from the harsh elements. If you have friends who love watching tv shows, you may know where this is going. With the lack of new quality media arriving to our 46 different streaming services, the friends in your life will inevitably begin watching their comfort show yet again. What’s this? You expected them to watch something new and not the same show that they’ve already watched 5 times. Nonsense and shame on you! This show is infallible and just as exciting as the first two times they’ve watched.
Now you may be thinking, “Are we really going to watch: Gilmore Girls, The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, Breaking Bad, The Wire, etc again?” Yes you are. Notice a plot hole or laugh at poor acting, you will not do this, instead you will listen to every explanation of the story; who is dating who, the drama between characters, who has and will die in the show, and what other shows these actors are in no matter the relevance to the actual show. You may think, “Well that’s not too bad, they can show me their show and then I’ll show them my favorite show!” Wrong again, by the time you get through watching their show, you’ll be so burnt out on TV that you might even consider reading a book like a nerd.
Now here comes the hard part, even though each episode has a runtime of 30 minutes, the episodes will take on average, 42.3 minutes to complete due to frequent pausing to explain plot points. Now while this does seem a bit boring especially if you are not invested in the show, do not under any circumstances take out your phone to do something else, it is not worth your life. You may be thinking that this is a hopeless purgatory in which you are forced to watch an entire show every year but I have news, there is hope!
After your friend watches those first two seasons, they will inevitably get bored of all the filler episodes and skip 3-4 seasons to go quickly to the climactic ending of the show that most likely aired back in 2011. Congratulations, you have successfully navigated your way through your friend’s favorite fall pastime. Before you celebrate too fast I have one last thing to leave you with. Good luck watching those same 4 Christmas movies that you’ve seen every year for the past decade, you’ll need it.
This has been another Gentleman’s Guide with Mason, if you have any questions or suggestions for the next guide, feel free to let me know!
By Mason Piva