It’s here!
The years keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’
Seniors everywhere have had bad vibes for weeks. Anxieties have run high. Motivation is at an all time low. Coffee is the only thing keeping us from curling up in bed and sleeping our lives away. While walking to class we look to the skies as a dark cloud seems to descend upon us. Yet no one else seems to see it. Is it our imagination? Have we been genetically altered to see the world differently? Why can’t the world see the end is coming?
What is this danger? Graduation --- dun, dun, dun! Every year, it comes out of nowhere to completely blind side a new set of victims. It’s the Pennywise of the entire earth. It only preys on those in The Loser’s Club — the hope of leaving school forever only to realize they now have to adult on their own.
With these fears laid before us, we’ve all developed a new physical ability: Graduation Goggles. Everything we used to hate about classes, part time jobs and the cafeteria are now the things we love the most. The screaming in the halls of the dorm at 1 a.m., the haystacks for the millionth time this week and the washer and dryer eating quarters suddenly have become the charming little quirks college has to offer. We can’t help but feel entranced by the security of the devils we know. Sure, we are educationally ready to move into the “real world,” but can we really survive out there?
Despite spending the last 18 years or so learning exactly how to survive in life, every senior is woefully underprepared for the actual survival part. I can identify intercultural dynamics, diagram sentences and write essays all day long. But I have no idea how to cook anything more advanced than macaroni and cheese. I own a couch and a bunch of textbooks that are outdated now that new editions have come out. What’s a fresh to the world graduate supposed to do?
Only the strongest will survive. We’ve been training for years, but so did the tributes of Districts, 1, 2 and 4 in the Hunger Games and they didn’t make it out of that movie alive. If anything, Hollywood has taught us that the underdog always wins. The years keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ until suddenly you’re standing at the precipice of life post-college. Now everything stagnates until the ball drops. Good luck to you, fellow graduates. We’re all going to need it.
By: Lacey Stecker