The most rotten of the rotten

Watching some of Rotten Tomatoes’ worst-rated films so you don’t have to

Many movie buffs rely on the internet to determine whether a film is bad or good. One of the most popular review-aggregation sites is Rotten Tomatoes. In recent years, it has faced criticism for being too harsh on some films. Are Rotten Tomatoes’ poorly-rated films really as bad as they make them out to be? There is only one way to find out!

The Master of Disguise (2002) - 1%

If you want the most cringe-worthy kids’ film ever made, Perry Andelin Blake’s got you covered! Set in 1979 Italy, Pistachio Disguisey must train to become a “Master of Disguise” to save his parents who were kidnapped by master criminal Devlin Bowman. This film is an hour of non-stop, corny gags, plus 20 minutes of post-credits nonsense. They somehow made that hour and twenty minutes feel like an eternity! The sophomoric gags try to cover up the messy plot and fail miserably. I think I deserve worker’s compensation for the psychological damage this film caused me!

Jaws: The Revenge (1987) - 0%

It almost pains me to tear this one apart. The original “Jaws” was so iconic, it’s almost inconceivable to have a fall from grace this bad. Directed by Joseph Sargent, the nonsensical plot of this film makes the shark look smarter than the characters and it suffers from a host of plot holes and logical oversights. The special effects were a step down from its predecessors; the shark’s propelling mechanisms are plainly seen in some scenes. It’s also infamous for creating the cliché “this time, it’s personal”. This film was essentially slapped together to make profits for a struggling MCA Universal.

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) - 0%

I saved the worst for last. The film notorious for being the worst-rated film on Rotten Tomatoes was an hour and a half of my life that I am never getting back. Directed by Wych Kaosayananda, this poor excuse for a spy film starring Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu follows special agent Jeremiah Ecks as he is forced to team up with opposing special agent Sever to bring down their common enemy. In theory, this sounds like a decent plot. However, the abysmal writing made the film so uninteresting. The plot was all over the place, had zero consistency and relied too heavily on spy movie clichés, not to mention that the trailer literally spoiled the ending. Don’t even get me started on the terrible special effects, even by 2002’s standards. It was also a box-office bomb, as the film cost $70 million to make, but made only $20 million! Forget melatonin, this film will put you to sleep in half the time!

I have learned that some films deserve a harsh rating. If you don’t believe me, watch these films at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

By: Evan Majors