Sketchy Christmas Lyrics

Christmas music is one of my favorite parts of the season because it has such power to set the proper holiday mood. When I hear the classic tunes, my mind wanders to memories of last minute holiday shopping, the smell of fresh pines needles, red-and-green-covered everything and eating scrumptious food with my family.
When I was younger, I took lyrics for granted and let the notes carry me into the Christmas spirit. As time has passed, however, I’ve seen the light: there can be some seriously dark lyrics hiding among the bouncy, innocent tunes!
Case in point: “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”
Humor me for a second, and imagine you are about to listen to this song for the first time. The first words you hear are, “You better watch out, you better not cry.” At this point, you’re confused because the music is pretty lightweight, but the words want to make you believe you’re in a horror film or at least a suspense movie!
Your confusion turns to shock when you hear, “I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town.” What!? This song is about Santa? You thought Santa was supposed to make you smile and bring you gifts, not scare you into submission!
You shrug because it’s really not that big of a deal. I mean come on, it’s a song! But soon after, intertwined with the melodious notes, you hear, “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.” Now this is just creepy. Santa’s been watching you the whole year to make sure you’ve been “good” enough for his visit. And not only is this an invasion of privacy, it’s gifts by works! Ridiculous!
The song ends, and of course, you know none of it’s real, but you can’t believe that the radio stations are polluting minds with this questionable image of Santa. Even “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” is better than this! Luckily, you’re not to the point of such hopeless fanaticism that you’d write an article about it, and you tolerate the song for the rest of the season.  
I’d much rather dream of a white Christmas.

Maxwell Bromme is a sophomore studying business administration & international relations.