The Secret Life of a Studio Consultant


The Last Word


School is well underway, and we’re all starting to feel the stress of homework, projects and papers piling up. If only there were a way to alleviate the crushing weight of all of that late-night studying, last-minute cramming and frantic typing. Unbeknownst to Union’s general population, a group of unsung heroes battle school stress for their fellow Unionites. Consultants for the Studio for Writing and Speaking sit in the library most evenings waiting for eager writers to come. But alas, they wait alone and desperately search for ways to pass the time:

The floor is lava: Nothing passes the time like pretending the floor is molten death and hopping from one piece of furniture to the next. Some consultants even forget the loneliness because they’re having so much fun.

Rap battles: Why are consultants so good with words? Now you know.

Pet rocks: To fight off loneliness, consultants bring pet rocks for companionship during the long hours in the vacant Studio. This Robinson Crusoe move actually prevents consultants from going insane during their hours of isolation from other human beings.

I Spy: Not only does this game improve consultants’ imaginations and their descriptive abilities, but it also helps them learn which countries the flags in the Atrium belong to—a valuable skill should any of them land on a game show.

Broomstick balancing: Back to that good ol’ eye-hand coordination! Consultants are masters at balancing broomsticks on their hands due to long hours spent practicing in the Studio. Some have even graduated to balancing mops.

Bouldering Cave betting: Consultants have a long-distance bond with the bouldering cave workers through the loneliness of both jobs. However, when a climber does happen to come along, Studio consultants take friendly wagers on each climber’s endurance and determination. Some consultants have even constructed and decorated signs to encourage struggling climbers.

These are just a few of the activities Studio consultants use to pass the long and lonely hours in the Studio for Writing and Speaking. What are those hours you ask? Monday-Thursday from 6-9 p.m., as well as some daytime hours. Have a paper you need help starting, writing, editing or formatting? Come to the Studio to ease your stress and give your friendly neighborhood consultants something to do!

PS: Don’t need help with writing but want to find an awesome place to study? The Studio is open during library hours for anyone looking for a quiet place to study.

Katie Turk is a senior studying english language arts education.