A Love Story From the Books: The Library Director’s Story
Drew Hickman: When did you first meet your husband?
Melissa Hortemiller: Jonathan and I went to the same school. He had just gotten out of the army, and I was doing my master’s. I went to the local church. That’s where I first saw him. I’d started going to a vespers that some of the students were putting on, and that’s where we got to interact a little bit.
DH: What was your first impression of him?
MH: He seemed serious, mostly because he had that ‘military bearing.’ But he is the least-serious person I’ve ever met. I remember thinking, ‘I’d like to be friends with him.’ I was dating someone else at the time, so I just thought he just seemed like someone with best friend potential.
DH: How long was it until you broke up with the other person, and how long until you started dating Jonathan?
MH: That relationship was long distance, and he was a terrible person. So coming from that and talking with Jonathan, the epitome of a gentleman, was a night-and-day difference. It was a month after I met Jonathan that my ex broke up with me, so it didn’t take me very long to recover. I wasn’t thinking, ‘Yeah, I’m ready to get back out there,’ when I met Jonathan. It was more, ‘I really want to be friends with this person.’
DH: What changed that?
MH: I’m the type of person that won’t invest too much into someone until I know they like me back. As our friendship grew, I realized that this is someone who is so similar to me, and we share so many values, so I started liking him. I was telling people at that point, ‘I don’t know if he likes me, we’re only texting for hours every day.’ And they said, ‘Uh, yeah, he likes you.’ So it didn’t take long before I felt safe because it felt mutual.
DH: Any love advice for our readers?
MH: If it takes work to get into a relationship, it’s not going to end well. Every relationship I ever pursued where it was exhausting everyday never ended well. When it’s the right thing, it happens naturally.
I’m not saying it doesn’t take work once you’re in the relationship. It takes a lot of learning to work together as a team. Being willing to investigate the other person’s perspective and having an unconditional love where you care for them no matter what, even if they drive you crazy. If you find someone you have a lot in common with, the fewer points of contention you’ll have.
Drew Hickman is a sophomore studying communication.