Adventist Slang: Dating Edition

Adventist slang is possibly the most difficult form of short language to learn. Once you break into the Adventist community, it’s assumed you already know this information. Rarely do the Adventists of old take the time to explain to the newbies what our terms mean. I would like to see that change. Allow me the opportunity to guide you through some common terms Adventists use when dating and what they mean.

·       Vespers – A simple worship service, typically an hour or so on Friday nights. This is also an Adventist first date location. If a person invites you to vespers, you are being asked out on a date. It’s meant to be a classy, safe place for couples to begin the process of getting to know each other. If you aren’t romantically interested in the inviter, politely decline the invitation.

·       Banquet – A group date sponsored by an institution with an excessive number of third wheelers. It’s prom sans everything that makes prom fun. There’s no dancing, Adventists are only allowed to act as “gently swaying trees.” You “leave room for Jesus” (at least six inches) between you and your partner. This is another safe environment for a date, usually after you’ve been dating for a while.

·       Seminary – Essentially adventistsingles.com IRL. This is where young men go to become pastors and young women go to find a husband. The men who go to seminary tend to be desperate to get married. Any girl who wants a man merely has to stand outside the building and wait. She will have at least three proposals in five minutes.

·       Watches – This is where it can get a little tricky. If you’re wearing a watch, there’s no need for alarm. Most people won’t think anything of it. If in conversation you hear someone comment, “She got herself a nice new watch,” they are saying the girl got engaged. If someone tries to give you a watch, that is a marriage proposal. DO NOT ACCEPT A WATCH UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR MARRIAGE.

As you have most likely experienced, and have now seen, Adventist slang is complicated. It’s a language as old as, well, Adventists. Hopefully, this guide has helped you, at least in the dating-sphere.

*Special thanks to Robin Stecker (22, single and available) for this idea.

Lacey Stecker is a Sophomore

Communications Major from

Noblesville, Indaiana