Ex-cited About Love: Getting Back Out There After a Tough Break-up

Dating after a break-up is tough. From trust issues to insecurities, many of us come with a lot of baggage. Letting someone new in can be a daunting task and previous hurts can deter you from fully committing. There are a few things you can do, however, to make sure that your new relationship isn’t sabotaged by your past.

1. Make sure that you are completely done with your past relationship. If you are considering a new relationship, it is important that your ex is not a part of the picture anymore. Talking every day, spending time together regularly and going out together are not in your best interests if you are trying to move on. This can be extremely difficult if you are still close friends with your ex. This close relationship may cause jealousy and resentment in a new relationship. Make sure that you set boundaries to protect you and your new partner from emotional turmoil.

2. Leave your past in the past. Your new partner is not your ex. They will most likely not have the same flaws and quirks that your previous partner did. Leave the problems that you and your ex had in the past and don’t continually bring them up in the new relationship. You can express your concern and discuss what has hurt you in previous relationships, but do not look for problems where there are none. New relationships come with new problems. Work on those as you go, but leave the past where it is.

3. Don’t continually discuss your past relationship with your new partner. It is one thing to discuss past relationships or the problems that came with them, but do not dwell on these issues. Even if the conversation is positive, discussing a previous partner excessively can cause your new partner to feel jealous or inferior. This can lead to resentment and your new partner may feel like they can never live up to your ex.

New relationships can be complicated. Leaving your ex out of it can make it easier. Remember to always listen to and respect your partner, communicating openly and honestly about any issues that you may have. A new relationship is a new start and an opportunity to get things right. Even if past relationships failed. Leave that baggage at the door and start fresh!

Kaitlynn Toay is a Senior

English Major from

Edgeley, North Dakota