New horizons for Union’s Nursing Program: Taking Holistic Education to the Next Level

In an eyebrow-raising move to solidify its claim of superiority among the other Adventist colleges — albeit a claim that is not very contested — the School of Nursing at Union College has announced plans to implement medically-induced strokes as part of the curriculum for their level one students, for a “brains-on approach,” as program director Dr. Nicole Orian called it. 

“One of the many things that makes our [nursing] program so great is that we teach our students to view patients as real people, not just problems needing solutions. What better way to get our students to truly understand their patients than by having them immersed in the patient experience? This is an incredible opportunity.” explained Dr. Orian.

So how exactly will this work? Students will have a medically-induced stroke on campus and go through the full experience of being stroke patients: ambulance ride, admission into Monsignore Rehabilitation Center, an overnight stay and being cared for by their classmates. 

When asked about funding for this rather expensive learning experience, Dr. Orian stated, “Well, the school cut back SA’s budget by 10%, and redistributed it to several departments and it’s actually been enough to fund most of the program. Oh, and we’re raising tuition.” 

So far, reviews have been mixed. An anonymous staff member said, “IRR was already a liability, now nursing too?” 

Samuel Ortiz, level one nursing student, said, “I’m so stoked! Or should I say stroked … I’m so funny.”

While Union College would be the first within the Adventist system to implement such a plan, it would actually be the second in the nation. Just last year, Southern Florida University came out with a similar program in which their nursing students were given cocaine under supervision to better understand the healthcare issues affecting that area. The program has since been dismantled. 

Will this new addition to the nursing program be something that can finally join the “100% NCLEX pass rate” boast or will it be a stroke of bad luck? Only time — and enrollment rates — will tell. 

After reaching out to SA for comments on the alleged budget cut, they made the following statement: “Don’t worry, we are still bringing expensive cars to banquets.”

Dad Joke of the Week

Samuel Ortiz is a Sophomore

Nursing Major from

Orlando, Florida