A New Year's Resolution You Can't Afford to Break

A number of research studies reveal that most individuals make at least one New Year’s resolution. Research conducted by Strava using 800 million user-logged activities in 2019 calculated that the day the majority of individuals give up is Jan. 19. I usually make it to about Jan. 3.

I want to suggest a 2021 resolution we can all make and one we should not break. How about a resolution to be more intentional about our friendships? Current research, including neurological studies, clearly indicates that friendships increase our academic, social and physical well-being.  

In a Wall Street Journal interview published in February 2019, science journalist Lydia Denworth found that friendship “is about setting up your life so you have people you can rely on.” Denworth went on to say that the most important finding from her in-depth research is that individuals need to make friendships a priority in their lives and not just something to add to their “to-do” list. Friendships require both intentionality and prioritization.

When working toward friendships, “what matters more than the number of friends we have is the quality of the connections we make,” according to clinical psychologist, Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. 

Tom Rath, author of “Vital Friends,” spent years poring over the literature around friendships, analyzing information from 8 million interviews in the Gallup worldwide database and conducting several experiments. His team concluded that there are individuals we “can’t afford to live without.”

Rath did not discover a single prototype, ideal or perfect friend. Using an assessment to measure and describe the unique roles friends play in our lives, his team arrived at eight “vital friendship” roles. Here are the eight vital friendship roles, briefly defined: 

Builder: They motivate and push you forward.

Champion: They stand up for you and beside you.

Collaborator: They have similar interests you can relate with.

Companion: You share an unbreakable bond of friendship, in good and bad times.

Connector: They are bridge builders who help you extend your network.

Energizer: They give you a boost and help keep you positive.

Mind Opener: They help you expand your ideas and horizons.

Navigator: They give you advice and keep you headed in the right direction. 

Perhaps this will be the best New Year’s resolution you have ever made and kept! Be intentional. Prioritize and work toward forming these eight vital friendships that will help you become your best. And think about what roles you can play to help others grow and move forward in their lives.

Tim Simon is the Executive Director of Institutional Effectiveness