New Year, New You?: Completing Your Resolutions with Minimal Effort

Welcome to 2021! Congrats on your survival. If you subscribe to the societal norm, you’ve already begun completing the resolutions you wrote out on December 31. At this point, you’ve had a realization: this is bogus! Why do people try to make a ton of changes all at once? You’re not a quitter, but you need to make your resolutions easier. Well, you’re in luck, my friend! I have for you a list of ways to make your resolutions just a little easier.

Lose Weight: Losing weight is super hard! You still want to eat all the things. Whoever said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels has clearly never eaten anything! What’s the easy out to losing weight? Simply stand with one foot off the scale. No one said you have to use two feet! You’ll lose half your previous weight in a snap!

Save Money: Any shopping addicts out there? Saving money is a challenge. Here’s the key; you can’t spend what you don’t have. Spend it all right now! Seriously. Get yourself a mound of debt. You won’t have to worry about spending money when all your money goes straight into repaying your debts. Just be careful not to get mixed up with any loan sharks!

Read More: Is it a challenge to sit down and read a book? Turn on closed captions on YouTube/Netflix/Hulu/etc. Keep up with your shows while holding the moral high ground with your friends. No one can prove whether you read them or not. They always say it’s the thought that counts, right?

 Pick up a New Hobby: Ladies and gentlemen, could you have picked an easier resolution to achieve? Merely go to your local craft store and pick up an item you don’t recognize. Nowhere in that resolution did it say you couldn’t put that new hobby down and walk away.

Get More Sleep: Guys, a three-year-old could figure this one out. Just don’t turn your alarm on. You may be late to everything, but who cares? You have to sleep! Even if your grades suffer, it’s worth it for those few extra Zs.

Express Yourself: What a fantastic resolution to have! And such an easy one to achieve. All you need to do is lose that mental filter. If it pops in your head, it must come out of your mouth. You’ll be expressing yourself so well, people will practically beg you to stop talking!

Why make things harder than they have to be? You have a million things to do and only so much time to do them. Work smarter, not harder! Save yourself a world of trouble by taking my advice.

Lacey Stecker is a sophomore

communication major

from Noblesville, Ind.