The Hard Talks: Discussing the Difficult Topics in a Relationship

Relationships aren’t always rosy. They also come with hard talks, weird ruts and situations that are difficult to navigate. Communication is the key to overcoming all of these things, but sometimes topics need to be discussed to make sure that moving forward in the relationship is the best choice. Compatibility is vital. While I don’t feel that a couple has to be perfectly compatible to make it work, having similarities in important aspects of your life can make your relationship smoother.

• Religion

Religion is a tough topic in relationships and each person has to decide for themselves where they draw the line. Are you comfortable dating outside of the Adventist faith? Do you want your partner to conform to strict Adventist beliefs? These are topics to discuss before considering a future together.

• Where you want to live

The best laid future can become disrupted if you and your partner want to live on separate sides of the world. Though I personally like long distance relationships and feel they can work, many feel the distance is a deal breaker. Discuss this with your partner and see if there’s a way that you can both achieve your goals while living in an agreed upon location. 

• Career goals

Many people have the idea that your career goals will change once you are married, especially if children are brought into the equation. It’s a great idea to talk about this in any serious relationship. It’s a good idea to discuss if you want to have children, what your timeline is and what the ideal family situation looks like to your partner. Your partner might feel it’s important to have one parent home with the children all day. Who will it be? Or will it be a joint effort? Having a plan set in place can help bring your life goals closer and make both you and your partner feel more comfortable about the future.

In any serious relationship, there comes a time where difficult conversations are inevitable. Shying away from these topics may prolong a relationship that does not fit into your life plan. Knowing where you both stand in each other’s lives can help give you direction and encourage you both to actively work toward your goals, both as individuals and a couple. As you continue to have these conversations, they will get easier. Openness and honesty will help you both to navigate these life talks more easily.

Kaitlynn Toay is a senior

English major from

Edgeley, N.D.