The Night Before Finals: A Union College Version

In case anyone needed extra reminding, finals are around the corner. And with motivation being at an all time low, I decided to write a poem that upon reflection, honestly doesn’t even really relate to finals and most likely will not help with motivation at all. Hopefully, though, the following poem can be of service in distracting you from the nightmare that awaits us in less than a week! 

‘Twas the night before finals, when all through the school

Not a creature was stirring, not even a squirrel;

The Bibles were open to James 1 verse 5,

In hopes the Lord would by His promise abide 

The students were sleeping (yeah, right) in their beds, 

While visions of failing plagued the dreams in their heads

I had put away all of my studying material

‘Cause it was way past my bedtime and my brain felt like cereal

When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter, 

So I jumped off the top bunk to see what was the matter

And what to my tir’d, blurry eyes did appear,

But a shimmering ghost dressed in Warrior gear

“I'm the ghost of things given that aren’t what’s needed” 

He proudly proclaimed, with my staring unheeded

“They asked for a kitchen, and so I went ahead

And built them a sparkling new lobby instead!

The Wi-Fi, security, food quality too?

I worked really hard; this new logo? It’ll woo!”

Now as a good Adventist, I’ve known ghosts aren’t real

But after hearing its words, I mean, it was no longer clear!

Those WERE some of the things I had noticed this year...

Then my heart started trembling, knees weak, arms were heavy

For the ghost came at me, faster than a fast Chevy

And the next thing I knew, I was there on my bed

Left being uncertain if it’d just been in my head

So I now sit and write

What I’ve experienced tonight

“‘Twas the night before finals, when all through the school, 

Not a creature was stirring, not even a squirrel…”

With this being the last issue before the end of the school year, I want to wish you all the best, whether you’re taking a final exam or having to grade one!

I hope that throughout this year, I have made you laugh at least once, smile twice or roll your eyes three times; either way, I got paid, so...

And now, I will leave you with the words of a very wise and renowned composer, lyricist, and mother of culture, Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar: “Ladies and gentlemen, it was lovely to have you this year. See you next year...or not…”

Sammy Ortiz is a junior

nursing major from

Orlando, Fla.