Texting Etiquette for the Chronic Overthinker

How to Send a Normal Text(Impossible Edition)

There are two kinds of texters: those who send texts and move on, and those who stare at the screen for minutes on end, wondering if their ‘hey’ sounded too aggressive. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been both kinds of texters. Whether we’re talking to a potential love interest, a new boss, or even just a friend. We have all wondered if the message we just sent is weird or just cringy. SO sit back, relax, and read this guide to be a better and more normal texter. 

Step One: Stop editing.

The overthinker doesn’t just send texts; they compose drafts like a novelist. It starts with “Hey:)” NOO, that is WAY too much! Then it goes to “Hey.” That’s too far, the opposite way; too cold! “Heyyyyyyy” Ugh no! They’re gonna think I’m in love with them!! Just for the final result to be, “Hey!” (Which is still kind of weird, let’s be honest). 

Step two: Stop Waiting

Every overthinker knows the emotional limbo that is waiting for a text back. Time slows a little just after hitting send. Sweat beads form on your forehead as you look at your phone, and your stomach sinks as you see that the other person read the text two minutes ago. But then…the worst happens… The TEXT BUBBLES COME UP. The equivalent of watching a horror movie where the killer might be behind the door, except the only killer here is our own insecurity.

Step three: Stop Double Texting

Everyone always feels like double-texting can’t be that bad when they’re nervous. It will help me get my point across! No, it won't. I promise you will only regret it. Especially if they read the first text and did not respond. 

Step four: Stop Overthinking the Reply

It happened. You finally got a reply. Now you have to microanalyze every letter. You go to ChatGPT and ask what they think. They said ‘haha’ instead of ‘HAHAHA.’ Does that mean they hate me? Chat replies, maybe. Which leaves you even more confused than before. Eventually, you move on…sort of. You think it’s probably fine, as long as you move to a new country and never see them again.

In conclusion, there is no safe way to text without worrying that you’ll never socially recover after. And don’t even get me started on group chats… that’s another article for another day. So stay safe out there, overthinkers; we know how difficult it is for you to survive in a world full of texting etiquette and expectations that everyone follows differently. In short, just send smoke signals? IT’s gotta be easier than deciphering “yipghru?” (A real text that I have received by the way)!

By Lily Morris