Union Stinks!

Preventing a Stinky Student Body

Well U-Fam it certainly has been a great first month of the 2025 semester hasn’t it? Sure we’ve had homework, exams, and some of us have even suffered through some truly grueling labs but slowly but surely, we’re making our way through. Another great thing about this month is that we were able to avoid having any crazy snow storms burying us in and preventing classes from taking place phew! This streak of good weather has been really refreshing but this winter warmth has its downsides.

For example, I know there is a common misconception that due to the cold, you don’t need to shower quite as often as you do during spring or summer; peer reviewed smellers actually say this is false! Just because it's only 42 degrees outside doesn’t mean you don’t need to replace that old spice stick, in fact why don’t you go ahead and reup on that for me before you continue reading! In fact, some may not know this, but if you are going to Union you actually have access to showers in your dorm. I know some of you may not have realized this but it's one of the perks of attendance. One cool feature about the showers is that if you combine the running water with bodywash and a loofah you can actually remove that stink from your body, crazy right? 

Now it may sound simple but bear with me, there’s layers to this showering thing. Showers are best taken in the morning, before you go interact with people or in the evening before you get into bed and snuggle up in those sheets. Now if you’re crazy you can do both but that’s a lot of work, I get it. Before you go, there’s actually another step to this whole “smelling decent” procedure that is absolutely necessary. Now I know some of you may have not heard of this, but a new fad going around called “brushing your teeth” is changing the game for people who you talk to in the morning. Yes folks, with only a simple toothbrush and toothpaste you too can hold 9am conversations that don’t involve the other person’s eyes watering. 

Now there’s definitely other methods you can use in tandem with the ones listed prior but you’ve gotta walk before you can run right? So let's review shall we: Shower in the morning, slap on that deodorant, brush your teeth for two minutes making sure to get up in those gums and put on your Tuesday best and get to that class. I know our classes usually start at the crack of 10am but I believe in you U-fam, I know we can be (and smell) better!

By: Mason Piva