Union student runs for governor of Wisconsin
A new era for Wisconsin is fast approaching
This is not satire. A Union Adventist University student, Stuart Cuateco, will be running for governor of Wisconsin. Cuateco has been fed up with the direction politics are going and has decided to enter the political realm to put a stop to the nonsense. Cuateco was planning to run for governor of Kansas because there were no rules on who could run. Unfortunately, the governor of Kansas got scared when six teens ran for governor and now there are requirements. After remembering that he lived in Wisconsin, he checked the requirements and realized that he met them. To run for governor of Wisconsin the candidate must be at least 18 years old, a qualified voter in the state, not hold any offices in foreign governments and have a clean criminal record. At the moment, the next election will be on Nov. 3, 2026. Currently, Cuateco is not aware of how to file certain documents before deadlines and has not decided on whether he will run in 2026 or 2030.
What makes Cuateco a qualified candidate is that he will have a bachelor’s degree in social science education by the spring of 2026. Cuateco is currently a part of the social committee, a member of Omicron Delta Kappa, writes articles for the Clocktower and is a part of the student senate. In high school, Cuateco was a member of the National Honor Society, treasurer and secretary of the class of 2021 at Wisconsin Academy. Cuateco will not be running under the two political parties. Over half of Americans want a third party and Cuateco is creating it. Cuateco’s party is not part of the left-wing or the right-wing, it is the kno-wing. To get more information about Cuateco’s campaign please visit isstuartright.com or head to Instagram and search for @partyofcommoncents. One of Cuateco’s main reasons for running is to encourage young people to vote. Politicians will only please those who vote for them. If young people do not vote for candidates the candidates will not work for the young adults. To get young adults to vote for Cuateco he will make moves that no Wisconsin politician has done before. He will ban all crime. All crimes will be illegal and will be punished under the law. He will make Wisconsin great again by retaking the Upper Peninsula. Michigan and Ohio had a war on whether Toledo would be part of Ohio or Michigan. At the end of the conflict, Toledo was given to Ohio and the upper peninsula was given to Michigan. Chicago was also meant to be part of Wisconsin but Illinois cheated by faking the population count. By artificially boosting their population Illinois was considered a state before Wisconsin and they chose to steal Chicago. Wisconsinites have long been known for being nice and they will not stand for this robbery. With a territorial expansion and a goal to ban crime, comes a great Wisconsin. The state will need a new flag. The current flag is the typical navy flag with a seal in the middle. To make Wisconsin recognizable, the new flag will have a white background with Swiss cheese in the middle. Wisconsin is the dairy land of America and should be recognized for its dairy, not for a knockoff Michigan flag. For more information on common sense policies feel free to stop Cuateco in the hallways.
Image from: WUWM 89.7
By: Stuart Cuateco