I'll be home for Christmas

Right about now, you’re probably dreaming of home and Christmas.

Instead, you’re hunched over a Chemistry book (or marketing research), hoping at least something will stick. You’re also stressing about that 3,000-word research paper that was due … yesterday (or is that just me?).

Times like these, the song “I’ll be home for Christmas” really takes on a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

When I lived out of the country, I would cry whenever I heard that song. It reminded me of all the Christmassy things back home I wouldn’t be a part of.

This year, that song again brings tears to my eyes, but for a different reason. I don’t want to go home. I was just there for Thanksgiving and it’s not the same. There’s a huge hole where my grandfather used to be that engulfs me every time I don’t see him around the table or out in the yard cooking up some meat or tamales.

School isn’t the same either. In the past month, our campus has felt empty, with two people whom we loved now gone. Little Moses and Jeannette won’t be home for Christmas, and I know their homes will feel oh so empty without them.

No, I don’t want to go to my home here.

I don’t want to feel the pain of another holiday with only part of my family. Instead, when I listen to “I’ll be home for Christmas,” I cry because I desperately want to go to my real home, the one with no more crying or death.

I desperately want to to be in Jesus’ arms, comforted and whole again.

This holiday season is for many of us not what it was last year. It’s not the most wonderful time of the year, with hot chocolate and Christmas carols and presents under the tree. Maybe, as they do to me, Christmas songs just bring tears to your eyes.

Find hope in this—God has promised us a more beautiful tomorrow. Soon—and I do believe that it will be very soon—the sun will rise on a new day, and then we will finally, truly, be home for Christmas.

Natalie Bruzon is a senior communications major emphasizing in public relations and emerging media. She enjoys reading, writing, editing, and the world. Natalie has lived in various countries and states. She considers everywhere home.