How Understanding Your Partner Can Lead to Stronger Connections: A Guide Explaining the Different Love Languages

Very often, partners do not give and receive love in the same ways. The five love languages can help understand how we and our partners give and receive love. Most people have a dominant love language and a second, inferior one. This quick guide may help you identify which one your partner connects with best.

1. Words of Affirmation If this is your S.O.’s love language, they may want you to verbally express how much you care about them -- often. They may also express how much they care about you often as well, as they express love in the way that they would like to receive it. If your partner asks you how you feel about something, enjoys receiving sweet texts or writes little love notes or letters, words of affirmation just may be their love language.

2. Quality Time. If your partner’s love language is quality time, they may want to spend their extra time with you, even if you are not doing anything. They may enjoy just being in your presence while watching a movie. However, they also may prioritize time without phones or other distractions present, as this is time for them to connect with you on a deeper level.

3. Gift Giving A person who shows their love through gift giving will often present you with little trinkets or special items that have meaning to them. They want you to know that whatever they are giving you made them think of you. You can try giving them little things to help communicate your feelings to them.

4. Acts of Service Does your significant other help you with your homework? Or maybe they go grocery shopping with you and help carry all those bags. If your partner’s love language is acts of service, they may like to show you they care by providing some assistance with everyday tasks.

5. Physical Touch If your partner likes to hold your hand, or have their arm around you often, this is a sign that they value physical touch as their love language. They may look for little ways to keep in touch, such as subtly putting their hand on your knee, or resting their leg against yours. This is a way to stay connected to you. If your partner seems to value this, try grabbing their hand first sometime, or give them a surprise hug to let them know how much you care.

If someone shows love in a different way than you receive it, learning to accept their love language and how to reciprocate it is a great communication tool. After all, relationships are all about communication. It never stops, and the sooner you can get a firm communication foundation built, the easier the relationship will go!

Kaitlynn Toay is a Senior

English Major from

Edgeley, North Dakota