Secret Santa Gift Ideas
A Gift-Giver's Guide to Christmas
Happy Holidays, everyone! It’s finally here, the season of sleigh bells, laughter, and awkward moments, where you give a Secret Santa gift so very terrible that the receiver questions if you were ever really friends. But fear not. It is the season of giving, so this is my gift to you, dear peers. If you’re tired of giving socks that scream, “I panicked at Target,” I’ve compiled a list of ironic, questionably useful, and delightfully absurd gifts guaranteed to make your loved ones know you thought their gifts through. Because nothing shows love like watching someone unwrap something that immediately makes them say, “Huh?”
1. A Candle that smells like “Finals Week”
For your nostalgic friend, remind them of what this season is really all about: stress! With notes of cold brew, overdue discussion posts, and the faint aroma of old printer ink. Perfect for anyone who claims they “thrive under pressure,” but has been stress-crying since October.
2. A Mystery Soup of the Month Club Subscription
Soup is comforting. Mystery Soup? Ten times better. Each month, they receive a can with its label removed. Tomato? Chicken noodle? Something legally categorized as “broth adjacent?” They won't know, and that’s the fun! Great for those loved ones who love adventure but not enough to venture outside.
3. A Reusable Water Bottle that Yells, ‘HYDRATE’
Every time they pick it up, it screams encouragement like an aggressively supportive gym bro. “LETS GOOOO!” or, “DRINK THAT WATER CHAMP!” The kicker is, the only way to get it to stop is by drinking the water. It’s both mildly terrifying and motivating, as well as majorly embarrassing when you're in public.
4. A DIY ‘Therapy in a Jar’ Kit
This gift is awesome because, on the outside, it looks thoughtful and meaningful, but on the inside, it’s full of passive-aggressive phrases people say to you when you're stressed out. Folded up sticky notes that say, ‘Have you tried like…not spiraling?’ or, ‘Wow, that’s weird, that assignment was like super easy for me.’ And when the jar opens, it leaks glitter everywhere, causing even more of stressed-out spiral to the opener.
So you’re welcome, this season can be full of uncertainties, but you can rest assured knowing that your gift-planning is already covered! At the end of the day, Secret Santa is about more than the gifts themselves; it’s about love. The gift you get really says, ‘I struggled for the last three weeks thinking of what to get you, and this is the very best of what I could come up with!’ While shedding a tear for how many hours you spent wasting time on Amazon trying to find something. After all, nothing bonds people more than a gift that feels like both a compliment and an insult. Happy gift giving, and may your holiday season be as unhinged as your sleep schedule during finals week!
By Lily Morris